may i feel
Why is it that when I find a woman who i care about deeply that they decide that I am not allowed to feel anything without it being a negative reflection on them?
Is this a generalization, yes to a degree. However there is truth to it.
I feel I am not allowed to feel bad or hurt or upset or mad at anything without it somehow becoming that I am judging them or looking down on them. This really isn't the case. I really do my best not to judge. Maybe it is my words, or how I say them (even if they are written) that sets this whole thing in motion.
I knew a lady I worked with once that nobody liked. They all said she was so condescending. I then would listen carefully to her and realized or at least came to believe that she wasn't trying to it was just her way of speaking. People just seemed to take it too personal. Maybe I was just naive.
Maybe I am doing something like she did. Maybe I sound high and mighty or self righteous. I really am not sure. I will have to try to examine this.
Even so I do just simply feel frustrated that I do always listen so much for these women who have crossed paths with me only to have them not seem to want to listen to me when I most need it. Simply listen and not speak of how it effects them. Can they just put their feelings aside for a moment for me? It seems like something I can do, why not them?
The scary thing is I wonder if I am attracted to this frustration on some level. That also needs examining.
Wish me luck.
I just want to find that clear communication with some nice girl. I hope that isn't to much to ask.
posted by Will @ 9:49 PM
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